Bay of Pigs! :)

Men are pigs.

They say that God created Man because he was bored and that He created Woman because he needed a challenge. Come to think of it, this is rather true. Man is the blueprint while Woman is the masterpiece. There have been posts and books and speeches and movies about what a woman wants in a man, but none of them match up to the extensive research that I have done on the subject. There are a variety of different aspects to a man that a woman looks for, and not all of them are very obvious. Over the past 24 years of my life, I’ve come across different women with different tastes but there are a few that are common to every woman. Men can consider this post as an eye-opener and take stock of what qualities they lack, and women can consider this post as an easy read and be amazed at my insight into the female mind. πŸ˜€

1. Sense of humor: Most women look for funny men, and this is where I am serious competition to most of you guys out there! πŸ˜€ But be warned, being funny does not mean cracking inane jokes and making complete idiots of yourself. It’s the wit that counts and not your ability to remember jokes. Every situation can be turned around to your advantage while talking to women, and you need to make sure that you don’t overdo the funny-guy act. I’ve preached about this before, and I say it again – make sure you’re laughing with them, and recognize when they’re laughing at you! πŸ˜€

2. Build: Women are very realistic unlike men, and they know that not all men can have a body as hot as Arnie and Stallone. Women do not always look for a well-built, muscular body in a man. You may be a flabby piece of shapeless dough or you could be a thin stick, it doesn’t matter to most women as long as you can live up to the other requirements. Of course, having a sexy body comes as an added advantage. πŸ˜€ This is where we men need to learn, and stop looking for Katrina Kaifs and Jenna Jamesons in every woman we meet. We need to be realistic, and not stupidly optimistic. All women are hot, no exceptions! πŸ˜€

3. Chivalry: The concept of chivalry, for most men, stops at holding the door open to women. Wake up, men! That’s not all what women look for in the chivalry department. While walking with a woman on the road, you need to let her walk on the safer side, thus ensuring that you protect her from the splash of water when a vehicle zooms by and also to ensure that you protect her from the occasional hit-and-run, by taking the hit yourself. πŸ˜€ Chivalry also can be very subtly displayed by defending her arguments, even if you don’t believe in them, while in a group. this doesn’t mean that you become a sneaky yes-man to the woman. It takes great skill and greater patience to hold your own and also defend her while arguing in a group. Women like that in a man, someone who can argue with confidence and the moment you start backing her arguments, you become her ally. πŸ˜€

4. Possessiveness: Women like men to be possessive about them. It makes them feel special and wanted. Don’t overdo this, because then you would look like a psycho stalker! πŸ˜€ Tell her at every opportunity that you’re there for her and that you’d go out of your way to help her out and make her feel that you’re an irreplaceable part of her daily routine. Again, it takes great skill to achieve this, and for more advice on this, mail me. πŸ˜€

5. Music: Women hate tone-deaf men. Every woman has a particular taste in music and it may not always match with yours. Don’t rubbish her taste in music, instead, tell her that your taste in music is childish and that you were just about to change your music tastes to match hers. Listen to her favorite tracks with her, and encourage her to play it again if she wants to. You can pull your hair out later, when you’re alone. πŸ˜€

6. Sex: Do not, I repeat, do not push the woman for a physical relationship. Women are very, very careful in this matter and if you push the wrong buttons (no puns intended) you come across as a sexually-frustrated despo! Be careful! πŸ˜€

7. Family Values: Most women like men who have good family values. Respect her parents and her family and she will like you all the more. Never ever call her dad “Dude!” or “Old Man!” because that will being down your brownie points! πŸ˜€

8. Perseverance: Women like to be pursued with vigor. They hate being ‘flung’ around, if you know what I mean. Send her cute messages every day and tell her how much you like her every chance you get. There’s a thin line between being authentic and sounding desperate, and this is where you need to tread carefully. The longer the pursuit, the better your chances of winning her heart over, because you show her how much you like her and how much of an optimist you are and how much you believe in her. Trust me, it works! πŸ˜€

9. Fighting: Fights are inevitable in every relationship, and when there are situations where you know that the reason is trivial, just take the blame. Just tell her you’re sorry and that you won’t do such a stupid thing again. No matter how big the issue, the fault always like with the man. Ingrain this in your mind, because the moment you blame the woman for the fight and the moment you lose your temper a bit, that’s the end of the relationship. Remember, you’re the loving, caring, chivalrous knight in shining armor. You do not blame the woman! πŸ˜€

10. The Ex- factor: Do not, I repeat, do not maintain contacts with your ex- girlfriends while you’re pursuing a woman, or when you’re in another relationship. Take my advice on this, the reason she’s your ex- is because either one of you did not deserve the other. Women are kind of finicky in this matter, and they take umbrage when you talk to your ex- or even run into your ex- by mistake. In the words of a friend, my ex- was apparently a “dumb fuck” who did not deserve me. I tend to agree! πŸ˜€

Believe me, what matters most is that you should be authentic in your emotions while dealing with women. A woman is a very very clever creature, and there’s no such thing as a “dumb” woman. There’re only dumb men! They can spot your fake smile and ulterior motives mile away. I am a very strong proponent of long-term, fruitful relationships and flings are bad for health. So, remember my dear pigs men, women want authenticity.

Go ahead. May the force be with you! πŸ˜€

Image Courtesy:

Published by Nikhil

Nikhil Kumar lives in Bangalore with his wife and their stuffed dog. They are both advertising professionals and lead very exciting lives on the streets, dodging traffic. Their fridge is filled with cans of Diet Coke and their water heater doesn't work. He doesn't smoke (up) anymore.

115 thoughts on “Bay of Pigs! :)

  1. haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

    I think your next book is “what a woman wants from a man” or “how to be a perfect man” or “how to attract more girlfriends”


  2. Ahem!!! Ahem!!!

    Chivalry hmmmm well said and (am forcing myself not to say this) I agree with you πŸ˜€

    Baaki to I am gonna watch this comment space πŸ˜€ bole to sitting on the wall πŸ˜‰

  3. Hehehehehehhehehehhee…LOL man!!

    And how cud u forget intelligence?

    Do u think we like dumb people? πŸ˜‰

    And another one naughtniess πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

  4. Amazed at your insight? More like laughing, holding our stomachs, while pointing at you, going ‘ha, ha, ha’, saying ‘Oh the poor silly man!’. πŸ˜‰

    Tell us, Nikhil, have you been secretly trying make-up and bath salts, like Mel Gibson did in ‘What Women Want?’. Tell us, tell us, go on, we won’t tell anybody… πŸ˜€

  5. I agree with first, second and third. First is important to be happy around your man. And third is a must, I think. Or it breeds irritation.

    No comments on 4.

    I disagree on 5, I wouldn’t want my man to change his taste in music for me.

    6 bingo!

    7, I like guys who care about their family and I expect them to offer same respect to my parents.

    Normally I would not admit this, 8 is a turn on. You always want to reward men who make efforts for you.

    I disagree with 9. Sometimes it is enough to respect an disagreeing opinion and not necessarily to accept it.

    Now, number 10, umm, no comments πŸ™‚

  6. ** Over the past 24 years of my life, I’ve come across different women with different tastes but … **

    How did they all taste ?? .. Ha ha ha .. Just kidding buddy ..

    But really, that was quite an observation and analysis .. I have been dating this girl since last 6 years and now she is my wife .. So I think I have got almost all of the qualities that you have written if not all ..

    But on a safer side, I will make her read this post and then will ask which qualities did I have ??

    All in all, a nice post,observation,analysis ..

  7. “don’t overdo the funny-guy act.” :
    Yep, now no one takes me seriously 😦

    “Women do not always look for a well-built, muscular body in a man.”.
    Phew! Thats the best news I have heard all day.

    “While walking with a woman on the road, you need to let her walk on the safer side”
    Yay! I do *something* right!

    “Women like men to be possessive about them.”

    “Don’t rubbish her taste in music, instead, tell her that your taste in music is childish and that you were just about to change your music tastes to match hers.”
    More Damn

    “do not push the woman for a physical relationship.”
    One more right!

    “Most women like men who have good family values.”

    “Send her cute messages every day and tell her how much you like her every chance you get.”

    “Just tell her you’re sorry and that you won’t do such a stupid thing again.”
    Yay 3 to me!

    “do not maintain contacts with your ex- girlfriends while you’re pursuing a woman”

    Ok 4/10. Oh man, do I still have any hope left 😦

  8. Well, I have heard the comment “men are dogs!” ..they being pigs…new one for me πŸ™‚
    Seems like you have done your research!!
    Though, I don’t quite agree the music and the fighting bit. I would not want a guy to change his tastes in music. Fighting, well, again…no, I would like an argument followed by some making up πŸ˜‰ Not general submission πŸ™‚
    No.10 -I would not really care if the guy maintains contact with his ex. Women can be open minded! Well, that is another thing missing on the list.The guy needs that too πŸ™‚ Yeah, I’d like my guy to be possessive, but not too possessive – balance πŸ™‚ May be you should spill your pearls of wisdom about that here? πŸ™‚
    And as Chakoli says…where is intelligence on the list?

  9. Frankly, any woman will like this post since each sentence lifts them to a higher altar

    but……….no woman will be bowled over……..

    No.4 : Change the subhead (use another word) and delete the first 3 sentence….aah…now it makes sense
    Because, generally, all men are possessive and like to think so are women.
    Between the last line in No.5 and your concluding para that says “Believe me, what matters most is that you should be authentic in your emotions while dealing with women.”, you are hugely contradicting yurselves
    No.9: If there is fight, and the fault is with te woman, she prefers owning up. It is irritating to hear “Its my mistake baby…i’m sorry” when it’s clearly is not! πŸ˜›

    and a few other things:
    Γ² Intelligence (read as wit and not by-hearting discovery channel :D);
    Γ² Acceptance capacity (accept that she knows some of the things you dont, and vice-versa…and the fact that men will never understand women (and vice versa again));
    Γ² Ability to gauge the mood (read as ability to understand the meaning of ‘NO’ );
    Γ² Realisation that emotional support and material support are as equal as an apple and and a pencil box!!! (one will never substitute fr th other in any sense!)
    aaah….thrs more…but some things are better if thrs always a mystery.

    and yea….nice post and good research….but a looooong way to go. I suggest you go on more frequent trips to chennai than this loooooong way. You’ll get better fruits, the former way

  10. Prepare for a serious comment!
    Except for 1, 6 and 7, I disagree with all the rest in varying degrees.
    About 2, if other qualities exist, this can be sacrificed, but never underestimate its importance.
    As for chivalry, at least I don’t expect it from a man…and nor is it a redeeming quality. I like to be on equal footing.
    I hate possessive men.
    About 5, agree with Poonam.
    Where 7 is concerned, I have never come across boys who will disrespect the girl’s family, well not when they are going around with the girl anyway.
    About 8, I have never seen it as a problem pursuing a man if I wanted him.
    About 9 and 10, I guess you are joking.

  11. You’ve done ur homework pretty well .. πŸ˜›
    These ARE the things every woman wants .. though intelligence is also one of em !! The guy needn’t be a scientist, but he should be able to think straight and be smart enough to make decisions atleast!
    if u watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S. , Chandler Bing fits into all of this perfectly.. πŸ˜‰

    β€œJust tell her you’re sorry and that you won’t do such a stupid thing again”
    Sometimes when its the woman’s fault, I think she deserves to know and work on it..

    “Tell her that your taste in music is childish and that you were just about to change your music tastes to match hers.”
    She’d be happy but that would be fake..

    Nice post.. take care..!!

  12. ROFL πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

    What an insight… i laughed but that dosen’t mean that i agree to all of the above1 but hillarious nonethelesss!

  13. useful tips
    but why the sudden interest in what a woman wants ?

    looks like the fever gave u a lot of time to ponder
    nyways take care !

  14. @Dinu
    Hmmm… Sounds interesting, man!

    Any guy who can follow the 10 points to perfection has some amount of intelligence!

    LOL… I’ll keep that in mind!

    Hehehehe!!! Hey, at least I tried!!
    But no, I don’t believe in make-up! Mel Gibson is a jerk! Hehehe…

    I should’ve interviewed you before writing this post!

    Hahahaha!! Good to know you married her, man!
    But yes, do tell me what she says about this…

    4/10, eh? Not bad, not bad! Keep working on the other 6, you’ll catch up with me soon!

    Hehehe! Points noted, your honor! And as I said, intelligence is needed for a guy to understand and fulfill all the above 10 points!

    No comments to your comments!! πŸ˜› πŸ˜›

    Hehehe! Very interesting comment! And I guess I should’ve talked to you too before writing the post, taken your views! And I’m not joking!

    Haha! Thanks! Yeah, chandler does seem to fit into all the categories!

    Hehhhehe! All I wanted was to make you guys laugh!

    Hesru change maadidya maga? Finally!
    I’ll teach u all you want, just gimme a call!

    Thank u! Thank u! Finally someone agrees with me!

  15. @Prax
    Thanks! By the time I had submitted my previous comment, you’d already commented and I missed it! πŸ˜€
    But yeah, the fever did give me a lot of time to think! Interesting, isn’t it? πŸ˜€

  16. @Nikhil
    “No comments to your comments…baaaah” ???????????????

    i wrote a mini essay and yu treat it like this ? waaaaaahhhh….

  17. Nice post. Nice coz you tried. Other than that, I don’t see how such a generalization can work. And changing yourself for someone else is not worth the effort.

    In my experience, one usually ends up doing the right things if he is interested enough. Thats worked for me, but I guess it helps that I am naturally witty, well-informed and chivalrous. Oh, and not at all modest. Thank you!

  18. Interesting.. definitely worth noting for a man… You are bang on about the funny bone bit – remembering jokes is grade 2, being witty – now, that’s a man! & sadly, I’ve not met many witty men…

    Chivalry, i think is non- existent – but, i must say.. its not just in the road.. its also in a public places..Its not something that should be done just to impress us, it comes through – consistent behavior is observed in various surroundings, and then an analysis is drawn while talking about him to her friends πŸ˜€

    I think perseverance, like you say is also an art.. it is easily mistaken with obsession or possessiveness.. So, its a fine line.. Either way, some women like it, some don’t.. i think.. πŸ˜€

    The Ex – Oh, extremely tricky!!! I think women though like to find out about the ex just to know where the lines were drawn, kinda psycho-analyzing him while seeming interested.. But, this is a big deal to men too, isn’t it?

  19. @ALL:

    Only intelligent guys have nice sense of humour .. So with sense of humour as first point, intelligence has already been included or looked upon ..

  20. are u guy or a girl? seriously man,i think girls should write abt it…if u make any mistakes (purposefully?) then you are misleading a lot of ppl…

  21. Point 1 – should be written in large bold letters in a Hospital Delivery room. Don’t be Funny in the name of cheering up your wife trying to deliver the baby lest you will end up with a broken finger.

  22. Looks like u have been researching on this topic all these years! πŸ˜€

    //You may be a flabby piece of shapeless dough or you could be a thin stick, it doesn’t matter to most women as long as you can live up to the other requirements.///
    hmmm..i know why u said that πŸ˜‰ …bt i completely disagree to that point! *grin* :d

  23. Ohh man. Now what next? nothing in world cant be more hilarious than your posts……… but I see reflections of hard truth here and there nonetheless πŸ˜€

  24. @Scorpria
    I wasn’t referring to your comment much rather the contents of the comment! πŸ˜›

    There’s a very fine line! πŸ˜€

    @A S
    Welcome to MirorCracked! πŸ˜€
    Modesty is not a virtue!! πŸ˜€

    Interesting points I must say! πŸ˜€
    And you haven’t met many witty men? Hmmm… Maybe I could remedy that! πŸ˜€

    Hats off! Thanks man!! πŸ˜€

    Follow at your own risk! πŸ˜€

    @Dinesh Babu
    Hahahahaha!!! Poor you! πŸ˜€

    Hehehehe! Thoo! I’m well built! πŸ˜€

    Hahaha! Glad you recognized it! πŸ˜€

  25. Oh good god, I cant imagine I just read a post like this !!! Like you had mentioned, it was defntly worth the wait.

    With all due permission, lemme get into my personal thoughts w.r.t your points :

    1) I think I am average with this. and rarely, I do get into the pervert mode while joking. Is that fine ???

    2) I dont have a gr8 build and I cant imagine myself being muscular. So iam happy with this point.

    3) I am very much this type. They say girls feel very safe and comfortable with me. (and for this, guys make fun of me terming me ‘harmles’, hope you get the point πŸ˜€ )

    4 ) Well, I am possessive. but again, not to a psycho extent. moreover, i have my own space, dont like anyone getting into it and let the others enjoy their own space too.

    5) Never ever. This is something I would not do even if they curse me to rot in hell !!!

    6) Pass :D; but I agree with your point.

    7) Are you sure about this? I have heard of women having problems with their husbands loving their families too much πŸ˜€ ?(Girls, women,I was jus kidding) Well, I am very much family oriented but that doesnt make me ‘mummys boy’ either.

    8) Does this mean ‘make them feel special’ ? I guess I do that with everyone, no gender bias :D.

    9) I wouldnt want to be sorry for no fault of mine. So I totally disagree with this.

    10) Pass πŸ˜€

    So that makes 6 / 10 with two points not applicable to me (atleast so far) . but then, why am i still single(and a lill frustrated) ?????
    Buddy, I need your help πŸ˜€

  26. Gosh! Point number 8 jus turned out to be another smiley !!

    and Btw, this is my longest comment ever for a blogger !

  27. you seem to have covered the bases pretty well! how come you don’t have your dream girl yet? or have you? hmm…

  28. na…i have my own way πŸ˜‰ i hate to follow a book,i like to paint on my own πŸ˜‰ and dude i have poetry πŸ˜‰ i can always kick into love poems πŸ˜‰

  29. πŸ˜€

    I agree with the opening line hehehe…

    Agree with the Chivalry point too (was so difficult to accept that hehehe)

    Do we really look out for something special in a guy or do we keep changing our rules as per the guy in front of us??

    Keep guessing πŸ˜€

    (Can’t find anything to pounce upon hehehe)

  30. “the if you push the wrong buttons (no puns intended) ” A typo!! whats the missing word? 32 comments!! damn! i m late. now its going to take a while to read all and comment fully. Be back in short while.

  31. @Laksh
    Welcome to MirrorCracked! πŸ˜€
    Glad you liked it! πŸ™‚

    LOL… I’m honored that you chose MirrorCracked to post your longest comment! And 6/10 is not bad, man! I’m proud of you! You’re probably still single because you need to be a bit more.. um… open-minded! πŸ˜€

    Nope… I thought I had, a long time ago, turned out that I had to write about her in point 10 above! πŸ˜€
    Dream girl remains elusive so far! πŸ˜€

    Poetry? Hmmm… Women love creative men! All the best! πŸ˜€

    I’m disappointed! I thought you’d pounce upon me like a hungry cat on a trapped mouse! πŸ˜€

    I’ll wait! πŸ˜€
    And oops, the word “the” is a stowaway there! Lemme delete it! πŸ˜€

  32. U should be LoveGuru!………also can throw in a little bit of Pranayama ala Ramdev Style!! πŸ™‚

    Think about it, u will be on TV, Radio, magazines!!

  33. Very sweet post!! πŸ˜€

    I’d never like it if guys listening to Jordin Sparks or Mariah Carey.

    Eeeeeww…. 😐

    But I wouldn’t mind head banging to a metal number with him! πŸ˜‰

    Now, I want a boy friend too! 😦

  34. To all the stuff you said, i would say that i would ever come to know some such guy… i would think he is EXTREMELY pretentious and EVEN MORE fake! there is not thing as a perfect guy (or for that matter, even a perfect girl)… so if all the things u said were true in a guy… i would never trust him… tho’ i would definitely be flattered by how nicely he can put up his so-‘fakingly’-nice personality!!

  35. Instead, sad but its true… if u give too much attention to a girl (or again anyone for that matter), there are chances u may be taken for granted…

    reminds me of a gujju proverb ‘khustaa muko to hustaa aave’
    if u dont pay too much attention to person x, that is what earns u the most attention from that person x!! pretend that u care less- and the shot is sure to be hit!!

  36. and my third comment as i still missed what i wanted to say… its hilarious regardless of it being true or not…! a fun read sure

  37. You are a genius, kiddo, a true genius. Now, does this mean you have dated a lot, or are you in a steady relationship?

    Under #5, you could add not playing the air guitar. I hate that.

    You could do a follow-up post about table manners and dancing.

    Is it really so hard for men to woo a woman? Are women that demanding? All I ask for is an authentic, honest, non-manipulative relationship. Funny and healthy are good too. Financially solvent doesn’t hurt. Well, maybe we are demanding….

    Glad to see you back and not sick any more. I was getting worried about you.

  38. After, reading your post I thought I would be eliminated in Round 1. πŸ™‚ but thanks to few commentators/judges… πŸ˜‰

    & add the 11th one, One shouldn’t sound too much pink…or look like one. :mrgreen: <– green should do πŸ˜‰

  39. Point 1 . correct and agreed

    Point 2. “You may be a flabby piece of shapeless dough or you could be a thin stick, it doesn’t matter to most women as long as you can live up to the other requirements”
    Sheesshhhh no!! I wouldnt go out with Adnan Sami (previous one) even if he was a millionaire or doted on me. Nobody likes extremes!

    Point 3 Liked the example of defending one’s girl. but there shouldnt be too much babying in name of chivalry. Like when I want to pay the bill it means I want to. No need to get into the “man” act.

    Point 4. “make her feel that you’re an irreplaceable part of her daily routine” Thats upto the woman to feel and give that much importance. First thing is to know by any means possible u cant make her feel what she doesnt. Rest I agree that I like my man to be lil possessive about me.

    Point 5 “Women hate tone-deaf men.” For the record I hate too much musical men too. and i suppose there may be girls like me out there.
    “You can pull your hair out later, when you’re alone.” Thats faking and it hurts most.

    Point 6,7 and 8 Correct

    Point 9 Women may not admit that they r wrong during the fight but inside they do realise their mistake and a healthy steady relation is one in which u have the security to fight ur heart out (ofcourse following rules like no name calling or hitting below the belt etc etc) but still know he/she will be there when the storm blows over.
    “because the moment you blame the woman for the fight and the moment you lose your temper a bit, that’s the end of the relationship.” SO very wrong. I have had my share of fights and it isnt a strong relation in 1st place if it cant bear partners losing temper. Do not blame the women wrongly but if u know she is wrong, u bet she already knows that inside but is too proud/not in the moment to admit right now.

    Point 10 the reason/logic u have cited for not keeping contact with an ex is wrong.For me its a sign of betrayal.

    lastly, Flattering concluding lines!! Phew!!!

  40. Great post, man! Btw, yeah. You absolutely could have a chance… You know what I am talking about! Eheh


  41. yes indeed – city life leaves u no time to think or for reminiscence
    sickness is good both for weight loss and for musing on life

  42. whaaat…be more open than this? Lately, I have got into a lot of trouble being an open book and also by being an ocean of secrets for others!!!

    Oh wait, were you referring to my opinions for Point 6 and 10 πŸ˜€ ?????

  43. haha, do you do this often? give out advice to your kind! πŸ˜›
    must say you’ve covered all the basics. I disagree on a few. I like guys who can introduce me to different kinds of music, don’t expect them to just start liking/appreciating what i do. Not a big fan of guys who are possesive though, and fighting for me just to support me when he doesn’t believe in it himself, naaa, doesn’t make sense either!

    oh and btw, i totally agree with scorpria too…she’s taken it one step ahead from where you left it πŸ˜›

    good one ! πŸ˜€

  44. Woooww!You have come up with something really interesting again! πŸ˜€
    You really seem to have done a very good research on the subject.I’d accept most of the points,but the one on music cannot be generalized.You may have put this in the list due to some of your personal experiences.
    Overall 9/10 and this is a good guide for single guys like me πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜‰
    And one more point…What about putting 11th number?’Money’?!?I think even that’s something which women look for!

  45. Nekheeell you forgot to add books and movies mate πŸ˜€ And I totally agree with you on “possessiveness” and the Ex-factor. It’s a pity that most of the people who will/are reading this post will be women. πŸ˜‰

  46. Dude you are awesome!
    For one, you know what to do, and two for doing exactly that without giving any subtle hint that you are at it.. πŸ˜€
    sure this is art.. no amount of preaching will help other pigs oops men do this like you do!

  47. Ahem, am seriously impressed!!! no jokes, seriously… you sure seem to know women well… πŸ™‚

    You had me reading every word with care, thinking wow, will there ever be a man who fits into all these??? πŸ˜‰

    the one thing that caught my eye was -Don’t rubbish her taste in music…. you hit the nail on the head… now, i dont want my man to like the music i do, but he SHOULD not trash my taste.. [which has happened once in the past [with a guy i met] and i would have strangled the guy right there for the way he said it…. i mean, i dont really listen to his kinda music, but would never ever say “what crappy music” ever…idiot schmuck]

    the other thing is, us gals look for interesting guys, who are fun to hang out with, with whom we can connect… but that doesnt mean you go around throwing EMINEM songs..hehe.. just be urself and learn to respect women n give some credit to our maturity levels… πŸ˜€

  48. @Priya
    Lots of eligible bachelors here!
    Check them out!

    I’ve heard that gujju proberb before, and it fits perfectly here! πŸ™‚
    Look, if a guy really likes a girl, then he’ll go out of his way to make sure she feels like the queen of the world, and to do that, he has to follow all the points above, right? He may be faking, and the woman will definitely realize he’s faking it, but at least he’s trying! πŸ™‚

    Hehehe! I’m so glad!

    Thanks! It’s good to be alive again! πŸ™‚
    I have dated quite a bit and I’m not in a relationship right now, which probably gives me the freedom to say what I want to say about this topic! πŸ™‚
    Women aren’t necessarily hard to understand, they’re just hard to please!

    LOL..!! Point noted!


    Finally, you comment!
    I noted all your points and am considering them! Flattery is the best form of imitation… er…er.. is it the other way round?

    Hehehehe! Wink! Wink! πŸ˜‰

    LOL… yeah! Rightly said! πŸ™‚

    Go figure! Intelligence is a must!

    Welcome to MirrorCracked!
    Good points you make! I’ve been reading the comments over again and realized that there are a lot of women who differ from my analysis… πŸ™‚

    LOL… 9/10, eh? Not bad!!
    And money is secondary, dude… Not all women look for rich guys!

    Thanks! πŸ™‚

    Thanks, macha!
    Years and years of practice, I guess!

    Hehehhee!! EMINEM songs, indeed!
    And btw, that guy who rubbished your tastes in music, ask him to read this post!
    I’m sure he’s still single! hehehe…

  49. @Rooooo-Heeeeee


    Welcome back!!! How’re you!???????????

  50. Something that I would like to add.

    Honesty: If we take care of this, then the exes aren’t that big a problem.

    And secondly, I totally agree with you that the blame is always on men. At least in my relationship world! πŸ˜‰

  51. @ Vishesh : Now, why is it ‘interesting’ ?? And why that Wink ?? aaaaH ?

    @ Nikhil : “Bah”!

  52. I forgot to add one very important thing. One thing that really turns me on in any man is kindness. That is 100 percent more important than chivalry, which is often superficial and put-on.

  53. DAMN 1!!! one day late are already u are the 67th commenter..
    man i just love ur post..
    you hsouold have included this post inur book..
    i would have got one more reason to write a review πŸ˜›

    now i thnk that i am ready for a girl πŸ˜›

  54. @Smallstar
    Thanks, you too! πŸ™‚

    @Kris Bass
    Welcome to MirrorCracked! πŸ˜€
    Hmmm… I guess I understand! πŸ˜€

    Yeah, man! πŸ˜€

    Baaaaah! πŸ˜€

    I guess so! It’s so interesting, isn’t it? πŸ˜‰

    Oh yes, kindness! Very true! I should’ve added that point! πŸ˜€

    LOL.. thanks man! πŸ™‚
    I’ll keep that in mind for the next book! πŸ˜€

  55. Don’t you think that woman lookin for these points is a fake !
    We love others not because of their perfection but because they are just like us a normal person. So while MOST of the women seek out a puppet of their misery , we men have a simple notion of love.

    But if its just for a long term relationship then go on and succumb yourself to the destiny not so bright.

    I know the gals who ever liked me, liked me without even knowing me. Call it crush or anything but these points don’t apply there.

    Of course for left 90% women. These points are in top list. Just cuz they have been evaluating life like a corporate.

    Offtopic: Wats goin on man ! You establishing a Love Guru agency :p

  56. Lol, This is interesting.. And I had my say after reading this piece and blabbered what I had to.. Thnx for the comment there :):)

    As for ex-factor.. kinda true but I did manage to have a very nice relation with one of the ex.. just one.. Its going great and we often set up each other..

  57. @Nikhil: thank you!! πŸ™‚ πŸ˜€

    p.s. Is Nikhil your real name? I like it! πŸ˜‰
    *HUG* and a big *KISS*

  58. I agree w/ most of it except the ex- factor. It can work either way as in – some ppl (such as moi) dont mind if the ex sticks around. Provided both parties have moved on and are happy.

  59. Ok! Here I am! Following ur comment on my blog! So first of all, thanks for that! πŸ™‚

    Now on to this post of urs!! Man! U’re either out ther to impress all the women in this planet or your’e geunuinely freakingly good with ur insights about us!!! Bravo!

    So next time someone asks me wut me’z luking fur in moi man, i know where to send them. hehe!

    Nice being here. Will keep coming!

  60. I enjoyed reading it through and I admit, I agree with some points here and there. That doesn’t mean I don’t agree with the rest, just thought that those others apply to both sexes. :]

    Oh well ~ this was great!!!

  61. wow, sure this is the favorite post in blogosphere now. I guess people are flocking down here to make that impression !!!

    I enjoyed reading it.

    good post man, thinking about the research and the years (24) you put in to the subject, I think you should be given a Doctorate on the subject.

    Dr Nikhil,
    PHD, Love Sciences
    University of love.

  62. All I want to say is; no one needs any of these qualities to find the love of their life. Understanding your partner is the major thing. Everything else comes with it. Am I wrong girls? πŸ˜€ If I am, please excuse my mistake. πŸ™‚

  63. Wooowwwwwww…..I am truly amaazzed… A man with a lot of experience only can write such a post. And this kind of a post where a man calls all men pigs should be engraved in GOLD πŸ˜› Good one buddy! Bet you are on your way to writing a really best seller book on women πŸ™‚

  64. btw, I just send the link to this post out to nearly 300 people in my email link…! This was truly a brilliant one and very impressive as well.

  65. great man…………u really rock…………thnx for all those suggestions…………i hope they r going to work for me……………..

  66. Nikhil,
    first time here.
    This is so inane πŸ™‚
    So outdated… yawn…
    come on, women and men should aim for higher things
    what’s all this holding door stuff….
    be yourself and if the girl expects all these things mentioned above, just tell her sorry but you’d rather be true.
    And then see the magic πŸ™‚

  67. @ T
    Hehehehe!! Good points, sir! Though a woman will make out instantly if you’re faking it!
    And I’ll establish the love guru agency in a few years time… Lets see..

    Good for you! πŸ™‚
    Your post was a bit more intuitive than mine.. πŸ™‚

    LOL… Yeah, Nikhil’s my real name!

    @La Vida Loca
    Hehehe! Individual opinions, I guess! πŸ™‚

    Welcome to MirrorCracked!
    I’m glad you like it here… Keep visiting!
    And I’m not just here to impress women, I am genuine too!

    Hehe! Thanks! Glad you liked it!

    Hahaha!! I am honored!

    No, you’re absolutely right!


    Hehehehe!! I’m glad you liked it! And thanks for the unofficial PR work for my blog! LOL…

    Nah… I’ve had my shot as a journalist, I like my present job better!

    Hehehe! I’m sure they will! Trust me!

    Welcome to MirrorCracked!
    Didn’t I mention, inane is my middle name! For rhetorics, you could’ve just emailed me!

  68. A woman is a very very clever creature, and there’s no such thing as a β€œdumb” woman. There’re only dumb men! Second you totally….
    well 24 years of research…. You quite seem like a Love guru Nikhil… Well Were you assisting john gray in his work???

    You do have a greater understanding of women buddy!!! but be careful! at time they behave in a way out of the book rules too πŸ™‚

  69. @Barath
    Are you kidding? John Gray was my student! I still remember the day he crawled on to my doorstep and demand I teach him the tricks of the trade! πŸ˜€

    Hmmm… I’ll think about it! Any chance in BM? Will I get paid? πŸ˜€

    Heehehe! Your turn now… Real name, please! πŸ˜€

  70. @Smallstar
    Thats a lovely name, if I may say so! πŸ˜€
    “Roberta” has it’s origins in Old German and it means, literally, “Bright Flame”…! πŸ™‚
    Go ahead, light up my life! πŸ˜€

  71. @Nikhil: oh, you made me smile, thanks!

    Anyway, I guess I am already lighting up ur ‘dark life’… Am I not?? πŸ™‚ πŸ˜‰

    p.s. Thanks also for the info!

  72. Ninge Harshasrisri thumba doddadaaythalva… so, on popular demand, changed it. macha, ondhu hudugige kaalu haakbeku antha prepare aagthidini… idhe time nalli post barede… thumba thanx kanlaa… πŸ˜€

  73. @Smallstar
    Hehehe! Thanks! πŸ˜€
    I can see clearly now! πŸ˜€

    oh thanks macha, Su is much easier to remember! πŸ˜€
    And sakkath, maga! yaaro hudugi? Swalpa intro kodso, nangu chance idiya antha nodtheeni! πŸ˜€

  74. Very soon you are going to have women running after you, something similar to what happened to the actual Love Guru. πŸ˜›

  75. hahaha !!!!!

    100 th comment

    “They say that God created Man because he was bored and that He created Woman because he needed a challenge. ”

    i really loved that line! πŸ™‚

  76. 100 comments ! whoa !

    101th comment πŸ™‚

    next time i hear a guy fakely appreciating “my kinda” music πŸ˜› i know u r to be blamed for it πŸ˜›

  77. @Smallstar
    One big hear hug all the way from india to u! πŸ˜€

    LOL… Yay!! 100th comment goes to you! Congrats!! πŸ˜€
    And yeah, that line… It’s true, isn’t it? πŸ˜€

    Hahaha!! You bet! Just whisper in his ear “MirrorCracked” and he’ll know that you know! πŸ˜€

  78. You’re abound in the best sort of humour; the type that makes me ponder, inspires opinion. For my sake, I hope #5 holds true. : P

    Always worth a laugh. Keep it up.

  79. πŸ˜€ ok! now either my thresholds are real low or I am really lucky.. Cheers to the man in my life who is all of this and more! πŸ™‚

    And yes.. brilliant piece of research!!

  80. @Ani
    LOL… Thanks! And I’m happy for you! Three Cheers for the guy in your life! πŸ˜€

    Oh, same here! Absolutely! πŸ˜€

  81. @Acm
    Welcome to MirrorCraked! πŸ˜€
    Oh yes… I should’ve listened to that before writing this! πŸ˜€

    @Roop Rai
    Welcome to MirrorCracked! πŸ˜€
    I’m glad you liked it here… Hehe… Keep visiting! πŸ˜€

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