Psycho Kid Saves The World!

Kids these days!

I have a friend who’s studying media communications or some such droll in a prominent college in the city. She’s known to be a bit loony. Maybe she was dropped on her head as a child, I don’t know, but she is absolutely nuts. Her parents think she’s a mistake and don’t know how she was born; her friends think she is faking it; her teachers realize that her head is not all that properly wired and accord her the deference reserved for a 102-year-old senile inmate of a mental institution; and I think, and I’m sure I’m right, that she is the only person alive who can prove that the evolution of the human brain stopped a long time ago. πŸ˜€

Anyway, I’m sharing an email that she sent me and a million other people a few months back. It’s quite a read. It’s long-winding, but I urge you to take some time to read through it. I promise you that you’ll be laughing uncontrollably by the time you get to the third paragraph. πŸ˜€


I didn’t think I’d have to tell you so soon. But, lots of things lately have been happening pre-maturely, so I guess I should’ve expected this.

I don’t know how to say this, so let me just come to the point. By the end of this year, the Third World War is going to begin in earnest. This is not some wild fantasy prophesying the end of the world. You may not believe it, but I do. And I KNOW it’s coming. I do not say this to scare you, but it is imperative that you know the truth. The truth is not only is the war imminent, but also that I am going to play a big part in it – trying to establish peace. It may sound like a line out of a movie, but I assure you I’m not playing at being a hero. This is my calling. It is what I have come here to do.

To be able to fulfil my destiny better, it is my decision to stop college altogether. I have learnt all I possibly can from educational institutions; it is now time for me to do what I was born to do.
I have been preparing for this war and its consequences for quite a while now. This war is going to be worse than anything you can ever imagine. Scary as it is, we must face up to it.

I fervently wish that you trust me and believe what I am telling you. I have no reason to lie to you. I gain nothing by stressing the proximity of war, except that I can somehow help you.
You may not think me able to face up to something so big – I know I’m little and thin and look like I can be blown away by a gust of wind. But, never judge a book by its cover.
I know you’re still thinking, “So why do you have to leave college before anything happens.” Well, first of all, there’s no use in continuing with college, because it will not teach me anything that will help me. Secondly, I’m to use the time off to physically train for the upcoming changes. Thirdly, I have prepared a list of items of survival and I will have to find the means of collecting such equipment in bulk. Fourthly, I must prepare various items necessary to survive the war and climatic changes.

I know you feel that I can do all these things while going to college, but here’s my question, “What’s the use of going to college?” You may argue that what I say may not happen, and I confess that I have no means to prove it to you. However, the universe has always been good and communicative with me, and all I can say is that I KNOW.

Do not try to stop me or reason with me. This is the path I choose. This is as far as it concerns me. But, I am concerned about you, too.

It may come as no surprise to you that this war is going to employ nuclear and bio-chemical warfare. It is therefore that I suggest that as you see the signs of impending warfare, Please prepare for it as best you can. Maybe your life plan does not involve you doing anything about it right now. But, that day will come. And I hope you will be at least mentally prepared for what is to come.

You could find some means of buying the requisite commodities you will need to safeguard yourself and your family from the hazards of war. Ample information and materials are available on the internet. And, besides, I’ve been preparing a list of such items and will only be glad to help you.
In my opinion, it would be best if you remained with your family through the war. However, if by some chance, you are stranded and cannot reach your family at any time, remember that you can always depend upon me. I also suggest that you think of a safe and remote area, where you and your family can move to in case of an evacuation.

You will also need to make your peace with death – your own, of family, friends and the people around you. Everyone and everything that is born, eventually dies. I know it is poor consolation, but it is the truth. This war is going to bring out the ugly side of human nature. There is going to be rampant looting, stealing and (unfortunately) raping. My advice is to get yourself a weapon, NOT pepper spray. And so, you will have to make your peace with killing and maiming, too.
I know I’m painting a very gruesome picture, but I want you to be ready for every eventuality. This war is, in all probability, going to make your worst nightmares, real. Be prepared for the worst. After all, it is said that when you are prepared for something, it does not come. Because when it comes, you are ready.
There is going to be a shortage of food, water, shelter. Electricity and water supply will stop. All national resources will be geared towards helping the soldiers at war. Prices are going to rise terribly. The weather will change dramatically. All this while there is the constant dread of being attacked. This is why I’m stressing the need to be prepared.

Above all, be strong. Believe in yourself. When you find yourself asking, “Why is this happening to me?” Know that life is asking you a question. Life is asking you “Are you up to the challenge?” Believe that life will never give you something you something that you cannot handle. Believe in the justice and the love of the universe. The universe will never let you down. All the challenges that will come your way will make you stronger. You will grow to your full potential.

“We must never forget that we may also find meaning in life even when confronted with a hopeless situation, when facing a fate that cannot be changed. For what then matters is to bear witness to the uniquely human potential at its best, which is to transform a personal tragedy into a triumph, to turn one’s predicament into a human achievement. When we are no longer able to change our situation… we are challenged to change ourselves.” – Viktor E. Frankl.
If you feel the need for any kind of support, I will always be there for you. Perhaps, in a way it is good that I was forced to tell you earlier than I had planned, this way I will be there beside you to give you fair warning and whatever support I can offer.

All this may not make sense to you, but you must understand that it means the world to me. I do not know many details, so there’s no point in asking. I do not know when or where or how you will be affected. But, one thing is for certain, I will not fail to provide you whatever support you require. After all, what are friends for?

Oh, by the way, she hasn’t quit college yet and she is yet to fulfil her destiny. πŸ˜€

Published by Nikhil

Nikhil Kumar lives in Bangalore with his wife and their stuffed dog. They are both advertising professionals and lead very exciting lives on the streets, dodging traffic. Their fridge is filled with cans of Diet Coke and their water heater doesn't work. He doesn't smoke (up) anymore.

48 thoughts on “Psycho Kid Saves The World!

  1. Isssh!!! She should be awarded Noble Peace Prize πŸ˜€

    Lemme show this to my boss and will request him to grant me Paid Leave so that I too can save the world πŸ˜€

  2. ROFL… hahaha πŸ˜€
    hw can one be so stupid like this!

    btw i have heard from somewhere that one south indian girl will protect the whole world or like conquer the whole world or something…may be its abt her πŸ˜† :mrgreen:

  3. hahaha LOL – You sure do have some interesting friends in your life who keep you really entertained buddy.

    “I know I’m little and thin and look like I can be blown away by a gust of wind. But, never judge a book by its cover.”
    Please don’t judge her, she can be actually the one who can turn around and cause a war for sure πŸ˜›

  4. @Smita
    LOL… Are you sure you wanna take that risk?? πŸ˜€

    Yes! It must be her!! πŸ˜€

    Hehehe… Yeah! She’s the next Tomb Raider! πŸ˜€

  5. Hmmm her mail reminds me of a quote by Einstein about how all geniuses were once thought of as lunatics.

    We do need such people in the world to discover gravity, invent electricity, or maybe even split the atom!!

    We have too many “Sane” people around, dont we? πŸ˜‰

  6. i believe it….see the nuke deal went thro…we are facing power shortage….Bihar,Orissa etc etc…KAshmir etc etc…so…but i think if we survive 2012 πŸ˜‰ we all this will happen in another 10 years…might be your frnd is seeing into the future πŸ˜›

  7. a) I like the word droll. Droll. Sounds like shit is forming in big sploshy balls and rolling. Droll.

    b) She is a little ambitions, whats wrong with it? Almost reminds me of myself when I set out to grad school.

  8. Its true that I smiled at the initial portions, but somehow towards the end of the mail, I felt real bad for her. Maybe, she is really insane and needs help. Or like how Reema mentioned, she is thinking ahead in time !!!

    Nikhil, if she is ur gud friend, I would suggest you to take this a lill seriously and provide help aeap. Her folks at home, do they know about this mail?

  9. Lol, U call a lunatic’s ramblings a psycho stuff. There’s a very thin line of difference between a lunatic and a psycho and this is a sheer case of former or trying hard (forced) for being hat-ke. Sorry, but this one sucked.

  10. @Smita
    LOL… this is an interesting thread of conversation to follow! πŸ˜€
    You’re quite active here, especially for this post… Hmmm… Do you by any chance know the Psycho Kid? πŸ˜€

    Ooooh…. You’re scaring me now! πŸ˜€

    Hehehehe… Yeah, maybe… You mean Terminatrix 4, don’t u? πŸ˜‰

    Well, there’s a thin line between genius and obsession… But, prophesying the end of the world has been going on ever since the world was formed… It’s quite like saying, “I predict that I’m gonna die” and we know that we are gonna die someday or the other and once we do, our prophecy would have come true… Clutching at rainbows, if you ask me… πŸ™‚

    LOL.. What an idea, sirji! πŸ˜€

    Hehehe… Yeah… 2012… I’ve seen that crap too! πŸ˜€

    Yeah, certainly is… As Teky says, Leave Letter Inc. πŸ˜€

    Hehehe… πŸ˜€

    I always knew something was wrong with you… You’ve proved it! πŸ˜€

    No, I just know her through someone else… I don’t really know her that well… And dude, I think she’s completely nuts… πŸ˜€

    Well, I agree that if she was faking it or trying hard to be “hat-ke”, it’s quite a pathetic attempt… But, she’s isn’t sane… I mean, I can tell you instances where people have been scared around her… that look in a person’s eyes when you know they’re crazed… Phew… πŸ˜€

  11. I think that she has shown sheer genious nad intelligence here .. And that we cant get because it’s not our cup of tea to grasp that .. That is beyond our IQ level .. Nikhil, she is genious .. Dont lose her as your friend .. She is a gifted child .. A special agent of GOD ..

  12. Hehe…hilarious !

    Aaargh…these ppl ! I know one such too…who thinks he owns the world and certain people do not deserve to live on it (not even if they pay a ransom for a rent) πŸ˜›
    *I know I’m little and thin and look like I can be blown away by a gust of wind.* I think this is a standard dialogue for such ppl…it’s a sign, Nikhil! Take her to a Doc! πŸ˜‰

    And yea, I agree with Nikhil *that look in a person’s eyes when you know they’re crazed…*

    But jokes apart, I really do think she needs medical help! Just like the Earth’s Owner needs it too! Other ppl don’t deserve to suffer their tantrums! 😦 😦 😦

  13. I am very tempted to use a phrase we often used in college but i am trying not to be very rude so this is a polite as i can put it, “THIS WOMAN HAS ISSUES!!!”

  14. Sad. First of all I don’t like the idea of you posting this e-mail over here. Even if she IS a lunatic. Its easy to laugh about other people’s disability. Why not do something about it? I totally disapprove of you making fun of her AND inviting all your readers to join in.

  15. Weird people have weird friends!! πŸ˜› πŸ˜› and i wasted so muchof my time reading her looooooooooooooooong letter that i actualy forgot to get prepared for the impending WW! πŸ˜› πŸ˜›

  16. “There is going to be a shortage of food, water, shelter. Electricity and water supply will stop. All national resources will be geared towards helping the soldiers at war. Prices are going to rise terribly. The weather will change dramatically. All this while there is the constant dread of being attacked.”

    You know, just substitute “politicians” for ‘soldiers at war’ in the third sentence, and I think the kid may be right. The war’s already started, at least in India! πŸ™‚

    Damn, need to run for shelter!


    Quirky Indian

  17. Holy cow! Did you even read that one completely. I’m already nuts, and I’m not even half way thru. :)) giggling madly.
    But on a serious note. You need to help her really understand things! She might be living in her own world, but that s not enough to survive.

  18. Oh boy!! Such people do exist?!? Well Save the world, more so people who know her! She needs help and fast if she really meant this or did this to be zara hat-ke, whatever the reason might be!

  19. @Nikhil
    Avionic Spanker is right! Even if she’s not a blog reader, this could be THE one post she reads…Damn! Nikhil, and all you ppl who commented,i quote the author of the mail “I (also) suggest that you think of a safe and remote area, where you and your family can (move to) hide in case of (an evacuation) an explosive wrath πŸ˜€ .

    It will happen, trust me ! πŸ˜‰

  20. Oye Nikhil, haan that can be the case.. I wish to meet her sometime then, but yea I need to be either drunk or doped.. :):)

    Oye Smita, and what state you were in when you read my comment. YOU DO FAST READING, I have caught you many times doing that and this is one of the incidents… I meant post and not ‘her’ u moron.

  21. @ Nikhil:

    As this is the most inventive story for bunking school, so she gets marks for creativity at least. πŸ™‚

    The sad thing about Cassandra was that she was right, eventually. Her mail reads like a summary of a good newspaper with wide international coverage these days!

    Besides, I suggest you look up ‘droll’. It is mostly used as an adjective, very rarely as a noun, and means nothing close to what your text suggests you think it means. (I say this because someone here has expressed admiration for your recently frequent use of the word; so you owe it to him not to mislead him at least. No?)

  22. @ Oxy you bugger….

    Stop assuming that it was fast reading (though now I feel your comments aren’t even worth reading :P).

    I obviously understood what you were trying to say, what I couldn’t understand was why did you say it πŸ˜€
    Get a nice sleep today..get out of the hangover…:)


    JLT πŸ™‚

  23. Did I , Did I? Huh!!! I swear on you I have never assumed, u know y? Cuz I know for sure YOU DO FAST READING. Period.

    Now you go hide somewhere before I come and break your teeth.

  24. Boy She can write and well, Does she think voices in her head are real people. But make her your friend, one such person with similar traits went on to become a noble laureate , John Nash. Freaky I think she saw the movie too. πŸ™‚

  25. could be possible if not by this years end surely in the coming years .. 😦
    and when she told college doesn’t teach anything she was very true..

  26. @Soham
    Heehe… You may be right, bro! πŸ™‚

    LOL… the one you know is a homicidal maniac! πŸ™‚

    Hehehe.. mild, but effective!

    I’m sorry you feel this way. I am not making fun of anyone, I’m just displaying someone’s creativity!

    Hahaha! thanks! πŸ˜›

    @Quirky Indian
    Yup! Absolutely right!

    Well, since I don’t know her really well, I will leave her be.. πŸ™‚

    Hehehe… Yeah…

    @Avionic Spanker
    Hhahaha! I gotta hide!

    You’re right.. the way things are going right now, I’m sure she’s on her way here right now to kill me!

    Creative licence? Can I?

    Way to go, girl! show him what you’ve got!

    My money’s on Smita!

    hehehe… You think these are inspired by movies she saw?


    Let them fight… This is fun!

    @Dinesh Babu
    haha! yeah!

  27. Whoaaa… wonder what was going thru her head to have written something like this…..

    just hope she aint reading this!!! we all better Run for cover!!:D

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