A Conversation With God :)

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Me: Hey God, what’s up?

God: Nothing much. You tell me.

Me: You know that this isn’t really happening and that I’m either stoned or drunk.

God: Yes, I do realize it. What can we do about it?

Me: Nothing, I guess. Let’s make a deal, shall we?

God: What?

Me: You promise me that you’ll leave me alone and I’ll promise you that I’ll not spread rumors about you.

God: You’ve been spreading rumors about me?

Me: Uh… No, forget that.

God: No, no! Tell me, what rumors have you been spreading about me?

Me: Nothing, God. Nothing. Let’s move on, shall we?

God: I don’t think so, Nikhil. Tell me now!

Me: (Shit!) Er, are you sure you want me to do that?

God: Um, yeah.

Me: I’ve been telling people that… that you… you are… Hey, did you watch that new movie? Isn’t that cool?

God: Don’t change the frikkin topic, dude.

Me: (Oh Crap!) Look, God. You’re a decent guy. And I’m sure you’re rational, to an extent. Let bygones be bygones. What say?

God: More than rational, I’m a bit more realistic. Now, stop beating around the bush and tell me what nonsense you’ve been telling people about me! Tell me now or I will banish you to an eternity of bloglessness!

Me: (Gulp!) Okay, I’m sorry. I think I should confess. I’ve been telling people that you don’t exist.

God: Hmmm… Really? Is that it? Or are you hiding something?

Me: No, no! That’s it! I swear. I am not lying!

God: May I ask why you did this deed?

Me: Well, I don’t know.. I mean, look at you. You’re this big and powerful entity and you apparently created the whole universe and you’re omnipresent and omnipotential and all that jazz. But you’re never there when people need you, are you?

God: Oh, you’re referring to the recent increase in terrorism, aren’t you?

Me: Terrorism? No, I think a lot of people are already doing that. I’m referring to something much more fundamental.

God: Really? What?

Me: My sense of time – I woke up today and thought it was a Thursday. And on Wednesday, I woke up and thought it was Saturday. What’s happening to me?

God: I think it’s some deep atavistic instinct of yours kicking in.

Me: Oh yeah? Do you see me dangling from a tree branch and scratching myself?

God: In a way, yes. I do.

Me: (Scratching myself) Hmmm… You do have a point there. Maybe it’s time we put an end to this ridiculous conversation and get on with our daily chores.

God: That’s the most intelligent thing you’ve said all your life.

Me: Why, thank you, God! I was running low on sarcasm.

God: Get lost. Bye!

Me: Goodbye! šŸ™‚

Published by Nikhil

Nikhil Kumar lives in Bangalore with his wife and their stuffed dog. They are both advertising professionals and lead very exciting lives on the streets, dodging traffic. Their fridge is filled with cans of Diet Coke and their water heater doesn't work. He doesn't smoke (up) anymore.

29 thoughts on “A Conversation With God :)

  1. Shucks! You didn’t ask him on what basis does he recruit his yo-yo’s and how can we resign from the post? All you talked about was your sense of timing? Grrrr!

  2. hmmm.. N here I was thinking that u are an atheist… humpppp….

    So in hindsight.. it kinda makes this conversation utter nonsense.. šŸ™‚ but funny nonsense.. I wonder what I would say if I have a meeting wid Him… šŸ˜›

  3. šŸ™‚

    I thot its 2nd part of one night in call centre šŸ˜›

    but was a good one….

    next tiem you find him… dont keep on scrtaching ur head šŸ˜›

  4. amazing stuff…..!!!! and God did u get in the corner and did make u feel that he is still superior, rite? :mrgreen:

    anyways it was pretty cool though!


  5. You know what, it’ll be fun knowing you that way (@ atavistic traits resurfacing). I can throw stones at you if you are caged. Or maybe even get into a fight with you like Kramer did in one episode of Seinfeld.

  6. Hey…I thought we were in the God does not exist club! Get your head looked into….you can’t be having conversations with non-existent entities šŸ˜€

  7. Illusions of Saturday on Wednesday, and Sunday on Thursday?
    God or Santa may not have told you, but I’ll tell you, the late paycheck is causing this! šŸ˜€

  8. Ok. You WERE stoned or drunk when you wrote this. šŸ˜› šŸ˜€ And the rumour that you spread about god not existing? Its not a rumour. Its a hard fact that people don’t want to accept. Everyone needs an imaginary friend. Don’t they? Yeah right! šŸ˜€

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