The Eternal Hotness Of The Coffee Cup! :)

Vijay was right – I should get back to serious posts now that I’m out of my holiday mood. So, I decided to tackle the most serious issue plaguing mankind at present – The Eternal Hotness Of The Coffee Cup.

I know many of you will empathize with my situation with reference to the cup of coffee. My cubicle is quite some distance away from the pantry, and by the time I make the trip back with a cup of hot coffee, the beverage would have become lukewarm, thus ruining my dreams of writing a book, dreaming up characters and plots and themes and story lines while sipping hot coffee.

It’s quite frustrating, especially when you’re a writer. And especially when you have two books in the pipeline and the deadline fast approaching. I tried running with the coffee back to my cubicle and ended up scalding my crotch. Next, I tried to take longer strides to reach my cubicle faster and ended up pulling a crotch muscle. I tried skateboarding back to my cubicle, but I ended up with a bad knee and the wise thought that I needed a skateboard to accomplish that feat. I tried placing the cup on the floor and pushing it with all my strength and running behind it and pushing it again as soon as it stopped, but I skidded on the coffee spill and fell head over heels, literally.

I had visions of myself, sitting at my desk, pecking away at the keyboard and occasionally reaching out for the cup of hot coffee. I had dreams of raising my cup in a toast to the screen whenever a character in the book gets lucky with a girl or other such happy moments. I had dreams of licking the rim of the cup while thinking (Um, did I just say that out loud?). I had dreams of being the caffeine-nicotine writer dude. I saw all these dreams vaporizing in thin air, much like the elusive latent heat…

I almost gave up with frustration pretty soon, when I had a brainwave.

If Hot Coffee Does Not Come To Me, I'll Go To The Hot Coffee

I am clever, no? 😀

Published by Nikhil

Nikhil Kumar lives in Bangalore with his wife and their stuffed dog. They are both advertising professionals and lead very exciting lives on the streets, dodging traffic. Their fridge is filled with cans of Diet Coke and their water heater doesn't work. He doesn't smoke (up) anymore.

28 thoughts on “The Eternal Hotness Of The Coffee Cup! :)

  1. The Alzheimer’s ridden friend 🙂 here says:
    Aah finally the idea of the thermos came to you!! 😀 after all your antics 🙂
    Now I need to get my hot cuppa!!

  2. @Apar
    Alzheimers’ is always a good excuse for being absent-minded! I know, I’ve used it! 🙂
    Go get your coffee! 🙂

    Hahaha!! Good to be back! 🙂
    The weakest link is the strongest ‘chain’..! 😀

  3. “thus ruining my dreams of writing a book, dreaming up characters and plots and themes and story lines while sipping hot coffee.” — What about work dude???

    And thank God that thingy! I was beginning to wonder how bad coffee really was for ur knee, ur head and the most importantly.. ur crotch… 😛

  4. Veerrrrry clever!!!!

    And thanks for this very very serious post on such a serious topic, I have been laughing the whole day and was in dire need of some seriousness in my life. Thanks for giving that.

    You are indeed Veerrrrry clever!!!! 😀

  5. That looks like your home PC (the primitive one that you tried to get rid of!)..only three icons on your desktop and no wallpaper????..Nikhil, yooohooo, is that really you??

    Well, it sounded more like you wanted save your crotch and the muscles surrounding it rather than your desire for hot coffee 😀

  6. that was really very serious…
    for ages, hot coffee has eluded us…
    as soon as we have had the opportunity to touch it, it has turned cold…
    blame it on distance (from x to y) or whatever…
    and writers (like you) have forever lost their plot over a *cold* cup of coffee…
    good that you had a brainwave, else this post would have been pretty non-existent! lol 😀

  7. you are downright funny and fucking cute…

    i love these lines… this post made my day cuz i was so clumsy in the morning…

    “I tried running with the coffee back to my cubicle and ended up scalding my crotch. Next, I tried to take longer strides to reach my cubicle faster and ended up pulling a crotch muscle.”

    Awesome post…

  8. ha ha ha… same problem here dude, but the worst is that your solution just won’t work for me!!!!

    “Eatables are not allowed inside” 😦

  9. I too, had schadenfreude visions of skidding on the coffee spills which was somehow less funnier than a rotimker on a skateboard with coffee in his hands, which was more funnier than dogs on skateboards.

    PS- or make one in the LABSSSS!

  10. @Reema
    Hehehe!! You know why! 😉

    LOL… Yeah, thankfully it did! 😀

    Hehehe!! I will, soon! 🙂

    Thank you verrrrrrrry much! 😀

    Welcome to MirrorCracked! 😀
    Glad you like it here! 😀

    Hehehehe!!! Yeah, it’s a secret, dude! Closely guarded! 🙂
    Of course I wanted to save my crotch!! Dude!! 😀

    @Avionic Spanker
    Hehehehe!! You have a point! 😀

    LOL… It’s coffee, my dear! I’d kill/kiss for a cup! 😀

    Yes, I am! 😀

    Hehe! Thanks!! 😀
    Glad you think so!! 😉

    Idea is copied?? 😀
    From where, macha?? 😀

    HEheheheheehe!! You’re welcome, my friend! 🙂

    @Tara Prasad
    Welcome back!!!! 😀
    Long time, no see! 🙂 And eatables not allowed? Damn, that sucks!

    Hehe! Thanks dude! Sounds an interesting contraption! Might just do something about it! 😀

  11. I will copy your idea of, Bringing Coffee Flask and Work Space ;D ever closer. My bad, Sometimes I communicate only 45% of the what I am is…:D .

  12. Sure sure….workin on a the hotness of a coffee sure is a serious issue to the entire man kind…! And lo behold the genie grants your wish and gets you a thermos…! Congratulations budddy…you don’t know how many people’s issues you solved on here…:P LOL

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