Matrix Relocated!

There were two pills – a blue one and a red pill. “Take one,” he said, and adjusted his black sunglasses. I couldn’t fathom why he was wearing dark sunglasses inside the already dimly-lit room. He couldn’t see a thing.

“Er, I’m over here pal,” I said, hiding an amused smile.

He turned towards me and used his free hand to raise his glasses. He stuck them over his forehead, looked at me through his blue contact lenses and said, “Don’t keep moving about, dude.”

“But I – “

“Don’t interrupt me!” he said, interrupting me. “Take a pill.”

“Why? What are these pills?” I asked, slightly angered with his tone.

“You are the Round One. We’ve been waiting for you for well over a decade. You will save us from the evil machine creatures that haunt us. One of these pills will enable you to see the truth and help us, and the other will enable you to go back to your boring PR life and your boring blogs and your boring PR life. You decide.”

“You said that already, man,” I said.


“My boring PR life…”

“Yeah. I know. Now decide!” he said and held out his hand, on which nestled two innocent pills – one red and blue.

“Tell me something first,” I said. “Why am I the Round One? Is it because I’m fat? Why can’t I be the Chosen One or something cooler?”

“Stop wasting time, Round One! Take a pill and save our lives!” he pleaded.

I took the red pill and swallowed it with a glass of water. I waited. Nothing happened. I looked at him. “Now what?” I asked him.

“You bastard,” he said softly. “You’ve decided to go back to your PR life, Round One. You have damned us all.”

As I woke up, back in my boring life the next day, I decided to reduce some weight. Round One? WTF!

Published by Nikhil

Nikhil Kumar lives in Bangalore with his wife and their stuffed dog. They are both advertising professionals and lead very exciting lives on the streets, dodging traffic. Their fridge is filled with cans of Diet Coke and their water heater doesn't work. He doesn't smoke (up) anymore.

30 thoughts on “Matrix Relocated!

  1. Seriously – WTF ?

    & If you hadn’t taken the red pill, you wouldn’t have written this-doesn’t-make-sense post. – πŸ˜‰

    Like this quote from the movie: “If you’d told us the truth, we would’ve told you to shove that red pill right up your ass.”


  2. Round One!!!!!

    πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

    And please do not ROFL anywhere….dent pad jaayega πŸ˜‰

  3. @Anshul
    Hehehe!! Yeah! My point exactly! πŸ˜€

    Hehehe!! Trust me, it isn’t! πŸ˜€

    Hahaha!! I’ll take that into consideration! πŸ˜€

  4. Losing weight resolutions are usually brought about by a motivating factor in life πŸ˜› and there are these romantic posts one after another on “Mirrorcracked” πŸ˜€

  5. Im glad you chose the red pill dude. else, we wouldve missed you and your boring blog πŸ˜€

    Hypothetically, what wouldve happened if you had the other pill?

  6. Interesting…!!!

    1st it was romantic tales…
    now its the Round one post… matrix spoof…. ahem, what be the happening to u biryani man????!!! πŸ˜€

  7. @Reema
    Wah!!! Thats called logic.

    :O :O :O
    You cant beat me there. Yesterday, in my dream, he offered me only one pill. I asked WTH is this? he said, sorry dude, its cost cutting!!! πŸ˜€

  8. personally, i prefer blue… wonder what would have happened if u had taken the blue pill.. is that the next post???? πŸ˜‰

  9. @Aaarti, Its usually advised to take the blue pill on empty stomach and most of people know wat happens after that. πŸ˜‰

  10. Oh I get it! You must be worried how you will look like on your wedding night. Your brain must be sending you subconscious signals. πŸ˜›

  11. I haven’t laughed so much for so long !!!

    “Er, I’m over here pal,” I said, hiding an amused smile.” LOL!

    And while i clicked on ‘coments’ and waited for the page to load, the laughter was subsiding…only to erupt when i saw the comments!!

    I always wonder what one’d do when Jagathy Srekumar dies (he’s a maayalam film industry comedian — the best ever!). Now I know you’re there πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜›

    Hiarious! I’m still rolling around, laughing!

  12. There’re serious probs with my keypad πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ too many typos. In my favour, i was laughing too hard, eyes were full, couldn’t see a thing!

  13. Guess when u take THE ‘Blue Pill’, YOUR Matrix will get relocated eh? πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜› Hahaha. Funny one “Err I’m over here, pal”.

  14. Great site this and I am really pleased to see you have what I am actually looking for here and this this post is exactly what I am interested in. I shall be pleased to become a regular visitor πŸ™‚

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