Does It Suck?

Being single. Does it suck?

Its been 8 months now since I officially broke up with my last girlfriend – let’s call her Kay, to protect her privacy – and the past 8 months have been quite weird. It’s not that things have been really bad, no. On the personal front, things are quite well, to be honest. I find more and more time for myself, to do things that I’ve never dared to do when in a relationship, to meet and flirt with other women – women I’d have just fantasized about talking to, for fear of being called unfaithful, and finally, the freedom to spend my entire paycheck on myself, without any guilt. It does not suck, on first appearance.

Being Single

Lately, I’ve been re-thinking my position on this issue. A quick introspection has revealed that being single, for all the goodness it promises, does indeed, suck. There are times when I miss the intimacy, and these pangs are becoming quite frequent in the past few months. To know that there is a woman in your life who loves you as much as you love her, who (almost) doesn’t judge you for what you are and do, who cares about your well-being and is a good enough friend to endure your drunken mistakes and laugh at your inane jokes, someone who knows when to fight and when to patch up, who understands your mood swings enough to change their lifestyles according to them, and finally, someone who doesn’t mind eating whatever you cook because they’re kind enough not to tell you the truth about the excess of salt or the burnt bottoms.

Well, Kay was all this and more, and not a day goes by when I question my actions that led to us breaking up. We all have the potential to be jerks, and I was one of the biggest back then. And at the time, I thought I was justified in being a jerk. Thankfully, I’ve matured enough to understand that I wasn’t. She’s matured too, making it on her own. A great job, a good house, a bike and good friends, and more importantly, she’s done it and doing it on her own, with little or no support from any family ties, in an alien city.

We’ve kept in touch, Kay and I, over the months, and have reached a stage where we can talk politely to each other, go out for coffee and occasionally, do the odd chore or favor for each other, without physically injuring each other. There was a time when we couldn’t be in the same room together for fear of ripping each other apart with our bare claws hands, and we kid about those times today.

I guess its cathartic, what we do. It’s given us a fresh outlook to the whole process of dating and relationships, to an extent that we try to set each other up with other people. Maybe its the residual feelings talking, or maybe just a sadistic longing to share my loneliness, but I’ve managed to dig up a few creeps for her to date. More importantly, she has managed to find some bigger creeps for herself, without any help from me. On the other hand, she has vehemently refused to find me a date, as she feels that my social life has a lot more people than hers, and that I should have no trouble in finding someone on my own. I don’t deny it. But the fact that I truly wish, from the bottom of my heart, that she does not find someone better than me, is cause for concern. It’s not jealousy or sadism. It’s just selfishness from a man who still loves her and is foolishly optimistic about his chances of getting back together. Very foolishly.

Oh, we did flirt with, and give up the idea of getting back together. Its like yesterday’s chocolate pudding – very tempting and a very bad idea. She’s still out there, looking for a decent guy to date, and I’m still here, resisting the urge to reach out and keep her selfishly to myself. Shouldn’t we learn from our mistakes?

PS:  She’s quite the character – fun, hyperactive like Pigwidgeon on dope, very hot and very very sexy. She hopes that this post of mine will be a very decent and non-desperate alternative to a dating site, and urges decent men who read this to get in touch for a date.

PPS: Same goes for me. Hot chicks, get in line for a good time.

Image Courtesy:

Published by Nikhil

Nikhil Kumar lives in Bangalore with his wife and their stuffed dog. They are both advertising professionals and lead very exciting lives on the streets, dodging traffic. Their fridge is filled with cans of Diet Coke and their water heater doesn't work. He doesn't smoke (up) anymore.

28 thoughts on “Does It Suck?

  1. You know, this could be the plot of an awesome book. And yes, being single sucks, but its better than being in love with someone awful

  2. I don’t remember how long its been since me and ‘the girl I used to mention on my blog as sweety’ broke up… I even went through another relationship after that… and I can safely say Yes.. IT SUCKS!! Whoever said that ‘Ignorance is bliss’ was absolutely right…. Good luck bro… and Kay!!!

  3. @Phoenixritu
    Haha, now that you mention it, I might just write an autobiography once I attain mental puberty. Which should be in about 30 years from now! 🙂

  4. @theSuda
    Been a while since I’ve heard you talk about “Sweety”. 🙂
    How’s life been, mate? And I totally agree, well almost… It does appear to suck.

  5. @Anashwara
    Welcome to MirrorCracked! 🙂
    LOL, nice of your to agree! Lets wait and see what fate has in store for all of us. 🙂

  6. “PPS: Same goes for me. Hot chicks, get in line for a good time” ???????? Is this how you’re going to find a nice girl? 😛

  7. Yeah it sucks… most of the time you arent really aware of it (or condition your brain to forget the fact that you are lonely) but when it hits, it hits bad.

    I am going through a troubled phase right now…I have been single for more than a year now, and I am beginning to re-evaluate my ability to be a companion to someone!! …I guess I am very close to embracing the idea that I am indeed a misfit to be a companion. And yeah that sucks even more!!

    Hope you find love again… and soon!

  8. Well..Its been 8 months Since I broke up..and to be pretty honest..the blog is really awesome..seems like a Deja Vu to me..

  9. hmmm.. Interesting post- i’ll say that! But whats the point of holding on to something when you know its going nowhere? your only hurting yourself… and by setting her up with creeps, not helping her either 🙂

    As for me, well, i totally love the image you’ve put up and would like to believe in that… Plus i do agree i have a LOT of guy friends in my circle, but we are all FRIENDS n nothing more… sigh…. 😀

    Someday…………..hopefully not too far away into the future….

  10. @Paradoxphilic
    Haha, don’t think that way. You’ll only end up drinking yourself to death. 🙂
    Be optimistic, think that the right person is right around the corner.

  11. @Dhanusha
    Welcome to MirrorCracked! 🙂
    I stop myself by forcing myself to be afraid. Afraid of all that could go wrong. I really don’t want that in my life right now 🙂

  12. @Ashish
    Welcome to MirrorCracked! 🙂
    Thanks for the feedback! And hang in there, bro. You’ll meet her someday. Soon. 🙂

  13. @Aarti
    Guys who are friends and nothing more – these are the guys who tend to hang around with you because they have some ulterior motives. Look closely at each one, and you might realize that one of them might be infatuated with you. Reads like a beautiful novel, doesn’t it? 😀

  14. Senor Nikhil…. Now. i dont know how true that comment is, but it sure made me think and smile… So gracias for that 😀

  15. Hmm. Interesting post. The dynamics of relationships are way too different for people like me (gay). I was with one guy for more than 6 months. There was this ‘connection’ between us on various levels. But after sometime, he felt like ‘exploring’ and that’s how he dumped me. We never labelled our relationship. It was more like enjoying the green times together. So much so that, he’s still reluctant to call me as his ex or that we were seeing each other. Its been 6 months now. We tried being friends, but it didn’t work out since i couldn’t handle his spicy tales of various hookups.

    He has been meeting loads of people, but just not liking anyone (he told me this). As for me, I came across this deliciously cute guy randomly. He asked me out and we kinda hit off quite well. He’s keen on something substantial. So as of now, i am not that lonely. It feels nice to be liked by someone. But, i just can not forget my ex. I so feel like clearly asking him if he wants to get back together? But i am just afraid of rejection, one more time.

    But i just can not f**king stop thinking of him. It has become so worse that i actually asked GOD to give me at least one day wherein i wouldn’t remember him.

  16. @HungOverSomeOne
    Welcome to MirrorCracked! 🙂
    Good to know that you have someone to love, and who loves you back. However, I don’t know if its a good thing to pine for someone who doesn’t want to be in a relationship. True love is what comes back to you once you let it go. If I were to give you some advice, I would ask you to let him go and move on. If its meant to be, it’ll happen. Don’t waste your time and energy wanting something that you can’t have now. This is being unfair to the person you’re with right now.

  17. They say – A feeling that changes, never existed in first place.

    PS-Identity of ‘they’ is immaterial 😉

  18. friendship after love is like eating after shitting. No matter how delicious the food is, the remnants of smell can be nauseating.
    being single is like a mouthwash. u cant do it for long time, but it keeps u ready. 😛

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: