Relax, ladies. I’m not getting married anytime soon. I’m still single.
I was having a very interesting conversation with my business partner the other day in KFC over Zingers, Fries, Coke and Mojitos. We discussed business for about twenty seconds and the remainder of our ‘meeting’ we spent in discussing the pros and cons of marriage. We studied and grew up together, along with a few other weirdos, and now when we looked back, most of those weirdos are either married or engaged to someone. We wondered if we were in the process of missing the wedding bus, figuratively speaking, and realized that we are not.
Nowadays, I don’t think its a wise idea to marry someone. There are so many things that can go wrong and so many people that can get killed, that its definitely not a good idea. Let me tick the reasons off one by one.
- Show Me The Money: Women these days are not marrying for love. No sir. Gone are the days where women would fall for a guy head over heels and say, “I’ll be with you through thick and thin. I don’t care if we are poor, we’ll have each other.” Laughable thought, isn’t it? Men need to submit a resume, a statement of purpose, financial statements and visa status to the potential in-laws before getting shortlisted for a stress-test interview. If he passes these levels, then he gets to meet the girl and woo her. If she doesn’t like him, then the whole exercise would have been in vain.
- Show Me A Good Time: A qualifying criteria for a man to be given the green light for marriage these days is his idea of a ‘good honeymoon’. If he is planning to take her abroad, then he’s suitable. If he says Ooty, Kerala or Darjeeling, then he can go there himself, thank you very much.
- Flexible Auspicious Times: More often than not, the booking of a marriage hall becomes more a pragmatic thing than anything. These days, marriage halls in the country follow the 12-noon check-in and check-out times, and it becomes impossible to people to get an auspicious time to tie the knot in the evenings. Palms are greased and pundits are coerced into finding a right time in accordance with the marriage hall timings. If you’re a pundit / astrologer, then your reputation depends on your ability to provide flexible timings.
- The Ex-Factor: Men and women are required to completely disassociate themselves with their ex-lovers. If, for any reason, men or women are found fraternizing with their ex-es in the run-up to the wedding, then the whole thing has a high probability of ending up in someone’s death.
These and a lot of other factors (which are 18+ and I can’t mention them here, for the benefit of those readers who aren’t mature enough), contribute to a highly volatile situation where people are not advised to get married. If you’re lucky enough to find a girl who’s got no hang-ups about a live-in, then go for it. Else, make sure you have a grave site marked out for you before you enter wedlock.
All the best.
MirrorCracked 
this is so funny, although maybe a tad jaded? i think a lot f women would marry for love 🙂 loved the bit about a man fraternising with his ex would lead to death though!!
You’re just pissed you aren’t married yet 😛 Lucky the girl who’s living her life before she gets in yours 😛 😛 😛
:)))
Just few minutes back I posted two post on my space as some good things about marriage…
and yes I married ofr love :))
btw…. I fully support scorppria on what she said 😉
God save the committed(s), married(s) and other non-singles… 😉
Haha! Nicely written. Marriage is probably more expensive than real estate. Besides you can’t sell it and go live in a small town.
Well Said man
Actually, it was more common back in the day for women to marry for money- that is how they raised their social status. Also, quite honestly, there are better issues to argue against marriage if that is what you’re into. You mention marriage halls but that is a petty issue in itself. You fail to mention the emotional side to marriage- don’t you think people do it for a reason? So that they do not end up alone? So that they can spend laughs, trials, and life together? And let’s say heaven forbid, it ends up working out and you’ve got yourself a partner for life! Marriage isn’t so bleak.
When will I, When Will I be Famous???
I’m a silent follower, but today, I break my silence. You’re one of the best Indian bloggers (from India) that I follow. Every entry cracks me up and fires me up. ESPECIALLY this one and the Valentine’s day post!
Continue on, fellow brown fudge.
I’m not big fan of marriages, but i felt offended after reading this what u wrote abt women. Marriage for money would be for me lack of selfrespect and love is for me the only reason to marry a man. I know you said generally, but still i felt offended as a woman.
Disagree completely. Agree there are lots of mercenaries(women who marry for everything else except the man) and there are women who marry the man – the good things are included.
really wonderfull
Hi Nikhil,
I am an editor at theasiamag.com and would like to have e-mail correspondence with you so I can discuss something. I would appreciate it if you would e-mail me.
Congratulations on getting it published!! 🙂
Good write and a funny one too. I wonder if your views would change if either you was married, engaged or with someone?
Wow. I agree, marriage is a bad idea… For you. I would feel really bad for a lady stuck with a guy who has such a low opinion of her gender.
yes some woman can marriage for money but if you think that there is a low that you dont have to give any money to your wif
Wow, which woman broke your heart? “I can’t mention them here, for the benefit of those readers who aren’t mature enough…” you say about sex. I really wish you’d done the same favour to people here who don’t have penis enough and just omitted point #1. Takes away from your credibility as a true anti-marriage person. I’m anti-marriage too yet I’d never make the claim (true though it is in many situations) that men just want a woman who brings in a second income, cooks, cleans, runs around at the whims of her parents-in-law with no help from hubby dearest, makes sure the family line continues and takes care of the kids. Bitter much?
This is why marriage is a bad idea for men:
— They can get sex without marriage;
— They can enjoy “a wife” through cohabitation; and,
— They want to avoid divorce and its financial risks.
As a critic of anti-male bias in the family courts, the reasons I hear most frequently from non-marrying men are fear of financial devastation in divorce and of losing meaningful contact with children afterward. (Such feedback is anecdotal evidence but, when you hear the same response over a period of years from several hundred different sources, it becomes prudent to listen.)
In a similar vein, the Rutgers report finds: “Many men also fear the financial consequences of divorce. They say that their financial assets are better protected if they cohabit rather than marry. They fear that an ex-wife will ‘take you for all you’ve got’ and that ‘men have more to lose financially than women’ from a divorce.”
Increasingly, men are stating their reasons for not marrying on the Internet. In an article entitled “The Marriage Strike,” Matthew Weeks expresses a sentiment common to such sites, “If we accept the old feminist argument that marriage is slavery for women, then it is undeniable that — given the current state of the nation’s family courts — divorce is slavery for men.”
Statistics never lies . 52% of first marriages end in divorce court within 5 years of marriage in the USA and 76% of divorces are filed/initiated by women. I agree with Nikhil. Those days are gone. “Marriage” has lost its meaning. Marriage is a 100% bad deal for men. BTW, I am a recently divorced guy,age-39,IT professional,single again, no kid, no wife…….free. I will never ever marry again. Period.
Marriage is the penalty for shoplifting in some third world countries. It is an elaborate, government sponsored business model designed to entrap men into a relationship they can never possibily leave without getting fleeced. All you single guys out there….stay single and have four or five girlfriends all over the place. If you are decent enough to know how to eat with a knife and fork, have good hygiene and are not a violent psycho there will be women lined up to go out with you and forgive you for all your philandering.
I’m a 46 year old man who has never been married and has no children. In the past 25 years I have been friends with, or observed, many hundreds of couples, and I’d say maybe only 12-15 of them seemed to have truly happy marriages after 4 or 5 years together. Today, virtually every person I know is either divorced, unhappily married, or struggling hard to “make their marriage work.” A number of older guys have recently told me that I was very smart never to marry.
I believe that any man who gets married today is taking a huge, foolish gamble. There’s probably a 90% chance–or higher–that in 5 years he’ll either be divorced or miserable. It’s not worth it, either in emotional or financial terms.
Finally, I’d like to mention that in the last year alone no less than 5 middle-aged, middle-class married women have aggressively attempted to seduce me and explicitly told me that they wanted to have sex with me. Each told me the same story–“My husband is a good guy, but he’s just so boring now. I deserve to have some fun in life.” Or, “My husband never gives me attention anymore, I have the right to be happy.” It’s all a sad commentary on the contemporary