A better place…

Eight months of my life have been a blur. I vaguely remember being happy for some time, and I distinctly remember pain. There had been moments of self-pity and loathing, but I can’t be sure. It’s all a haze. There was also something akin to love. I think I’m sure of this. Bits and pieces of memory float in and out of my head – people, places, sounds, instances, thoughts, actions, voices – but none that I can be sure of.

It’s like being awoken from a coma. Things are clear now, but the last thing I remember clearly is looking down from the window of an airplane, 10,000 feet up in the sky and watching my home through a haze of tears and clouds. After that, it’s been more or less blurry completely. Things have been done, words have been said, books have been written and prayers have been sent, but I still don’t quite remember much.

This time round, though, the tears hesitate to come. Pragmatic voices hold them back. Relax, they say. You’re going to a better place.

Published by Nikhil

Nikhil Kumar lives in Bangalore with his wife and their stuffed dog. They are both advertising professionals and lead very exciting lives on the streets, dodging traffic. Their fridge is filled with cans of Diet Coke and their water heater doesn't work. He doesn't smoke (up) anymore.

4 thoughts on “A better place…

  1. This is one of the most touching posts I’ve read. All the best in your endeavors 🙂

  2. I so understand your sentiments in this post. I felt the same plethora of emotions while leaving Delhi. I left Delhi because I knew everything I had back in there was over and life in a far unknown land was calling me to move on ahead in life. I knew NZ was going to be a better place. And its true it has wiped off all bad memories and sores I had earlier. And now I look back to head back to Delhi once more and meet my loved ones. I am rejuvenated.
    fruity 😉

  3. @Fruity
    I can so empathize… In my case, I was coming back to India from NY, so I knew it would be a better place… But you were leaving home to go to an unknown country… it must have been very hard.. i know it was extremely hard for me to leave home and go live in a foreign place… takes a lot out of u mentally…

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