Cash Back! :)

There’s one in every family!

I’m sure most of you have had this experience before. There’s this freaky guy whom I have had the misfortune of having a friendship with. According to him, we’re the “best-est of friends” and according to me, he’s an unwanted piece of garbage who just doesn’t know when he’s not needed and just doesn’t understand the fact that he’s a burden on this earth! I pity him. If you look at his face, the word “dumb” pops in your mind. His body fat is unevenly distributed, his eyes are lop-sided, his brain is in the wrong place, and he would be automatically entered into the mentally-challenged Olympics if he went anywhere near the venue! If he wasn’t dropped on his head as a child, I seriously wonder what sort of parenting he had to go through to turn out as he has.

I may be a bit too harsh on him, but that’s the way he is. I can’t help it. Would you believe that I’m actually down-playing this mentally-challenged embarrassment to nature who thinks I am his friend? πŸ˜€

Anyway, I had lent this guy two hundred bucks, a small amount considering the amount of money I make. This was over a month ago. He promptly forgot about it until I gently reminded him that he owes me. He immediately made out a check (cheque?) for two hundred bucks and gave it to me. Now, this was the first time I was handling a check for so less an amount and I was like, “Dude, it’s just two hundred! You can give me the cash when you have it. No hurry!”

So, he said, “No man, take it. I don’t want to keep you waiting!” I was surprised but hey, money’s money. So, I took the check and deposited it in my bank the next day. A week later, the check bounced! πŸ˜€

The bank charged me an extra penalty of 25 bucks for the bad check and I was mad with rage. I called up the dumb freak and said that his check had bounced and that he now owes me 225 bucks, for which he asked me, “What do you mean the check bounced?”

“There was no money in your account, you moron! The check bounced!” I said.

“Oh, ok,” he said and told me to come near some godforsaken building on some highway to collect the money.Β  I was a bit scared and was wondering if he was going to kill me in that secluded place and make it look like an accident or something. I had no idea how his under-developed mind worked. He finally showed up after making me wait an hour and handed the money over to me. I asked him why he called me so far away from civilization. Instead of replying, he put his hand inside his pocket and the gesture made me freak out. I was about to shout bloody murder, when he took out a cigarette and said, “For smoking, man! My folks don’t know I smoke so I come here often to smoke.”

I smoked one cigarette with the demented freak and went home, where my mom told me that she had gone to some wedding that day and that the demented guy’s family is related to us in some far far distant way! πŸ˜€

As I said, there’s one in every family, where the process of evolution stops for good!! πŸ˜€

Published by Nikhil

Nikhil Kumar lives in Bangalore with his wife and their stuffed dog. They are both advertising professionals and lead very exciting lives on the streets, dodging traffic. Their fridge is filled with cans of Diet Coke and their water heater doesn't work. He doesn't smoke (up) anymore.

25 thoughts on “Cash Back! :)

  1. It is always so embarrassing to remind people to return the money which they had borrowed !!

    In your case, the you got back a cheque which bounced too !! Paapa.

    ” There’s one in every family, where the process of evolution stops for good!! ”


    P.S.- You must be really insane. You’ve changed your theme 3 times in 3 days. En bere kelsa ilva ?

  2. @Priya
    hehehe…. Girly theme aa?? ayyo paapi… now check… I’ve changed it something more macho.. (hopefully) πŸ˜€
    And yeah, its embarrasing… especially if u have to talk to someone like this moron friend oops, relative of mine! πŸ˜€

    thanks πŸ™‚

  3. @Reema
    Oh yeah!! why didn’t i think of that?? But what if that freak gave me a check for that also??? πŸ˜€

  4. Cummon, he is ur relative. You are not supposed to talk about him like that. πŸ˜€
    I don’t have any such person in my family (* we are born intellectuals, you see. πŸ™‚ ), but yes I do have a few REALLY irritating roommates and I can really beat them up for free. πŸ˜€

  5. @Amit
    Yes, irritating roomies are second on my list of to-kill assholes! πŸ˜€
    But this fellow, it doesnt matter if he’s related to me or not, he’s still a crazy half-wit.. πŸ˜€

  6. haha, an infuriating experience for you but a funny one to read for me. πŸ˜› at least you got your money back in the end!

  7. @Sulz
    Yeah thats the only silver lining for me! πŸ˜€
    But I’m glad you had a good laugh… hehehe…

    hahahahahahaha!!! πŸ˜€

  8. haha. such a good friend you have there.
    yeah its pretty disappointing when ppl don’t return money. And i hate to remind them again and again.
    Some would say β€œoh man, I just forgot it. I would transfer it once I reach office”
    One week and nothing.

    Well this is nothing as compared to what hap to my brother. A friend of his wanted to buy something online and did not have a credit card. So he asked my brother for his credit card number and that he would pay him in cash.
    He did pay in cash and made the transaction.

    2 months later, my brother found out that some money is being charged.
    Again after one month, the same amount was getting deducted. He found out that his dear friend (read ()*@()*#@ ) has subscribed for something online.
    He quickly called his friend (read as above) and asked him to pay. He said he would and did not till date.
    My brother cancelled the credit card.
    Its been more than a year and nothing.

  9. Americans write “check.” In GB they write “cheque.” Don’t know what they write in Australia.

    Two hundred dollars sounds like a nice chunk of change to me. The dollar really must be bottoming out. 😦 Or else I’m a lot poorer than you. Probably both. I think he was sort of a bum to borrow the money in the first place, especially if he lives with his parents.

    I’m sorry he’s related to you, although that part made the story very funny.

  10. Hey Nikhil, so sad he didn’t even punched you!! Alas, that must be your lucky day πŸ˜€
    BTW, how much money you make ? πŸ˜›

    200 bucks != 200 dollars (!= means not equal to :D)
    200 dollars will be approx 8000 bucks for Nikhil alas I am not sure he will be ready to lent this much amount to heis best-est friend πŸ˜›

  11. Nikhil, nice theme (you @#@## I was going to put on this theme today)
    BTW why don’t you put sidebar on right side, it looks much better that way πŸ™‚

  12. @Xylene
    Yeah man, that sucks! Using a credit card to suscribe to something every month and not paying back!! damn! But, come to think of it, I think I’ve done that to someone once!! lol… πŸ˜€

    hehehe… it’s 200 rupees!! indian rupees… and 200 rupees converts to around 4 dollars!! imagine handling a check for 4 dollars that bounced!! lol… πŸ˜€

    why are u so intent on harming me?? πŸ˜€
    u wanted to kill me, u wanted Sweety to kill me, u wanted me to get kicked and now u wanted me to get punched!! hehehe… πŸ˜€
    btw, I make a lot of money… πŸ˜›

  13. @Suda
    there u go again, cursing me! πŸ˜€
    how would i know that u wanted to use this theme!! hehe… and no man, i like the sidebar on the left…

  14. ‘I was a bit scared and was wondering if he was going to kill me in that secluded place and make it look like an accident or something.’

    ROFL πŸ™‚ . Humour at its best.

  15. Oye I see what happened when I used our favorite joke ” …..going to kill me in that secluded place …”
    yesterday, I went to help one of my friends to get her bike out of dark parking under her building and said “Are you going to hit me on head with your bike in dark parking……”
    She turned and said,”Ohh I would love to but I am refraining myself only for sweet sweety you #$#@@#$, now shutup and help me”
    and I was like _-_-_-_ πŸ˜€

  16. HAHHAAH noone can kill you for two hundred bucks macha!!! hahahhaaaa…and then finding the guy is your relative-oohh you should have probably returned the money-after all its all in the family na!


  17. Nikhil, u were indeed harsh on the poor guy(though bad and ur related friend) Fine how could think someone s gonna kill u for 200 bucks, well!
    funny post, but u know soemtimes friends are like that,

  18. dude this is much better than the one you described….i just laughed my gut out πŸ™‚ and man to top it all that guy is related to u huh ….. dude u carry the genes huh πŸ˜‰

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